Could Senior Home Care from an Agency Be the Solution When Aging Parents Refuse Help from You?

By TenderHearted Home Care, LLC | February 21, 2024 |

How frustrating is it when you know that somebody you care about needs help, but they continually refuse your offers? It can be downright annoying, but more than anything when it’s your aging parents or grandparents, it can be unnerving.

You see the signs that they are slowing down. You recognize that they are struggling with basic tasks of everyday life, but still, no matter what you do, and even though you live so close to them, they just don’t want you to help them.

Why would that be?

There could be a wide range of reasons, most notably the one that comes up first is pride. Maybe they don’t want to admit they are slowing down. Perhaps they don’t want to even think about turning to their adult child for assistance.

To them, you are still their little child, the toddler who struggled to walk, who wet their bed when they were six or seven, who had a bad case of acne in their teenage years, who almost flunked a class in high school or who had one bad relationship after another throughout college and perhaps the start of your adult life.

People often see us for who we were, not who we are. That can make it difficult for parents to even think about relying on help from their children. That’s not the case for everyone, but it can be the case for some.

Why would you turn to a senior home care agency instead?

Well, if you know that your mother or father or both require some assistance for Activities of Daily Living (ADLs), but they will not ask you or don’t even want you to offer, then what other option do you have?

Senior home care allows elderly men and women the opportunity to remain where they are most comfortable, often in their own homes. It also means they don’t have to turn to you for assistance with some more intimate matters, like bathing or toileting.

Perhaps that’s why your mother or father is not too keen on the idea of you helping them out. You might be your father’s daughter and, as he struggles to get out of bed and get dressed in the morning, the last thing he can imagine is having you help him get into and out of the shower. Maybe he doesn’t even want to think about you, one day, trying to assist him on the toilet. Those are very difficult prospects for many people to face, much less even think about.

How can you talk about senior home care in this type of situation?

If you know, without a doubt, that your elderly mother or father is having difficulty with those ADLs, if there is a record of them forgetting to take prescription medications, having trouble getting up and down stairs, sitting at home for days on end with an empty refrigerator because they struggle to get to the grocery store, then you know something has to be done.

If they don’t want your help, talk about senior home care. Just be direct, but do it with patience and gentleness. Don’t try to force it on them, but rather open the door to possibilities.

What might those possibilities be?

Having somebody there to support them at the same time each day, even if it’s every other day or just a couple of days a week. Talk about activities they might be able to do still if they only had the right support.

When you talk about the possibilities and the positive aspects of it all, you might just help them see the value in senior home care, even if they won’t turn to you for help.